Monday, January 31, 2011

Dishy Goalie Monday- Danny Battochio

Meet Danny Battochio, from Lively, Ontario. He was brought to our attention by Ms. Conduct and is a gift that keeps on giving. Sometimes its hard to find the photos that we love, but Danny Battochio is made for G5H.

The minute I entered his name into google search, I started to feel a little flush. #30 Battochio currently plays in the CHL for Rapid City and looks mighty fine.

This unbelievable moment of lust is courtesy of

I can just envision him doing a booty pop and impregnating the ice.

The angle of this photo is pretty sick all on its own. The leg extension is icing on the cake.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Plenty of Love to Go Around

Tonight we have a little bit of this and a little bit of that and a whole lot of ooo la la.
We had some fan submissions we thought we should share with all who would appreciate it.

The first round of photos were submitted by the author of the artandhockey blog (, Christa.
Tyler Weiman of the Manitoba Moose working it low.

Not sure on his name, but he plays for the Rockford Icedogs and he can visit my barn anytime. (Thanks to Ms. Conduct our mystery man has a name and it is Hannu Toivonen)

Last, but never least is Richard Bachman. The photo says it all.

Thank you to all the fans who send in the delicious photos. You expand our horizons everyday.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Dishy Goalie Monday-- Martin Jones

Today's guest on DGM is Martin Jones, a goalie prospect for the Las Angeles Kings. Jones has been posting some pretty sexy numbers in the AHL with the Manchester Monarchs.

The North Vancouver native is more than a pretty face and is currently rocking a .93 save percentage and allowing only 2.17 GAA.

One of the most impressive aspect of Jones' history is that he managed to go undrafted. He's getting alot of attention for his impressive play in the AHL, but its not the first time Jones has gotten attention.

Jones played four years for the Calgary Hitman of the WHL.
Jones' using his long... long... legs in the World Juniors to completely stonewall his opponents.

The man has beastly potential and if you keep an eye on the Kings, I expect you'll see more of him in the future.

Friday, January 21, 2011

My Current Obsession

I've tried to resist it for as long as I possible could, but I just can't go on any longer...


*cues up music*

I can't fight this feeelin' anymoooore...


I've forgotten every goalie that's come befooooore....


Ahem. Sorry, I was having a moment there. That's Bobby Goepfert, one of the goalies for my local ECHL team. He's pretty awesome, and if you haven't noticed, he's the current object of my goalie obsession.



His warm-up is definitely fun to watch...

And he's a pretty good dancer too...

Most importantly, he's one of the goalies who was featured on Puck Daddy last month for the fight he got into after sticking up for one of his defensemen in a line brawl. In case you missed it...

The best part in all of this? I get to go watch him in action tonight!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Hei siellä

I don't know about you, but I can't ever get enough Finnish goalies in my life. Thanks to Hockey Broad, we get to giggle about another today.

Predators at Blackhawks 1/16/11

Pekka Rinne / Nashville Predators

Aside from being, as they say in Finnish quite herkullinen (delicious), he's also got the second best GAA and Save %. How can you not love him?

Predators at Blackhawks 1/16/11

Predators at Blackhawks 1/16/11

Seriously, How can you not love him?

I'm also going to point you to his Wikipedia page. Someone had the brilliant idea to post a little goalie porn over there. Bwahaha! We're spreading!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Dishy Goalie Monday-- Matt Dalton

Alright, so this week we start our first DGM (dishy guy "goalie" monday)-- the concept is borrowed from writer Katie MacAlister and hopefully she won't mind if we put our own G5H spin on it.
This Monday's featured goalie is... drum roll please....... Matt Dalton.

Dalton is a member of the Boston Bruins system and is currently playing with the Providence Bruins of the AHl. He is posting a cool .918 save percentage.

My favourite part of Matt Dalton, is his ability to pull off so many different colour combinations. In the last three years he has played for an equal number of teams and leagues. This makes him by far one of the most accessible goalie prospects.

Dalton wore #1 while at Bemidji State from 07-09.

Next we find Dalton, in the ECHL with the Reading Royals... He spoiled the Florida Everblades hopes of a Kelly Cup run.

And finally at the Boston practice rinks with the other masked men of the Bruins system....

Sigh..... We await your visit Mr. Dalton.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Tall, Dark, and Bendy

There's something very interesting about goalies who wear dark pads, isn't there?


 This enigmatic fellow is Dov Grumet-Morris. He's kind of an intense looking dude.


Did I mention he's dominating the ECHL right now? He leads GAA, Save %, and has backstopped his team to the top of the league.



Of course, this is all par for the course for him. His stats are proof of that.

Seriously, the only bad thing about him? Boring warm-up.

Bits and Pieces

You guys continue to be absolutely awesome. So, while I work on a larger post for later, I have a few links I received via Twitter to hold you over.

- First, from @HockeyBroad, Corey Crawford failing to be anywhere near as awesome and bendy as Marty Turco.

- Next, from @julierubes, Brian Elliot showing us his goalie butt.

- Finally, from @txstarsgirl, John Grahame doing what has to be the best goalie stretch on Earth. I do believe it gave me the vapors.

Unfortunately, we're starting to run a bit low on pictures. If we run out, we'll have to dig into my supply of ECHL goalie pictures. As much as I adore Bobby Goepfert, Jaroslav Janus, and Dov Grumet-Morris, I don't think you guy want to see 15 posts of them (I really do have that many pictures worth).

Also, feel free to send us links to YouTube videos, stories on your favorite goalie, or any good interview you read. We're not picky here!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Love at First Sight

Sometimes a girl just knows....

Meet #1 Semyon Varlamov of the Washington Capitals and my current crush of the week.

There is no experience better than walking into a rink right before warmups. You get hit with the uniquely hockey smell, you see the empty seats waiting for the fans to arrive, and the kids crowding the glass, waiting for the first skate to touch the ice for warmups.

The best part is when the players skate out and you have that moment. You know the one I'm talking about. The one where you see a player and you just know... He is going to be your favourite.

Now, everyone has their own reasons for falling in love. This was mine....

Saturday, January 8, 2011

The Cure for a Bad Day

So, work was bat shit crazy, my NHL teams have been slumping, my ECHL team was swept in their series with the fourth worst team in the division, and my Visa bill is due Monday.

Calling this week crappy is a huge understatement.

Luckily, I know what can be done to make everything better...





That's Lightning prospect Jaroslav Janus by the way. He's pretty spectacular right? It gets better...

Yup. He's all kinds of awesome. How can you be sad when he's so... delightful?

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Veteran's Day

Pokechick here, and thanks to a submission from @nickyrobinson, we're going to pay tribute to NHL veteran Martin Brodeur.

Old school Marty looks quite fierce. I wonder how far those legs will reach...

As you know, we are very sensitive to avoiding any sort of underage goalie porn, if anyone has any clue what year this was taken - let us know in the comments.

Here's another one of good ol' Marty from last season's Devils vs. Panthers match-up. Looks like those hips aren't showing any signs of rust (wish we could say the same about his save percentage and the rest of the Devils roster).

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


I don't think it's too much of a secret that I love photography, in particular hockey photography. I spend a lot of time checking out the work of other hockey photographers. I have to admit, I was pretty floored by these beautiful shots of San Jose Sharks Goaltender Antti Niemi in Hockey Broads Flickr stream. I would also be remiss if I didn't point you toward her excellent blog. It's definitely a must-read.

Sharks at Blackhawks 12/30/10

Sharks at Blackhawks 12/30/10

Sharks at Blackhawks 12/30/10

Sharks at Blackhawks 12/30/10

Sigh. Between this fabulous Finn and Marty Turco bending in every single direction possible I may have to watch more Western Confrenece games. Might be time to check the Lightning and Panthers upcoming schedules. Might be time for a goalie-ogling road trip.

Two for One

Have I got a deal for you today! Two delicious goalies for the price of one.

First up, Richard Bachman of the Texas Stars.

This fourth round pick of the Dallas Stars in the 2006, has been having quite a year. He had a few minutes of NHL time, and is currently 7th in the AHL's top goalie standings. You can see the rest of his stats here.

Next up is Wild prospect and current Houston Aero, Matt hackett.

The third round pick has been putting up some nice numbers for the Aeros, as you can see from his stats. He also looks pretty good in this video of him denying some kid named Taylor Hall.

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He's a pretty scrappy guy too...

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You know what? Since I like you guys so much, I'll throw in this old school goalie porn as a free bonus gift. I'm going to quote Ross, who sent in all these pictures, because I really can't put it any better than him.
"Oh, and I included a scan of NHL color commentator and current St. Louis Blues president John Davidson's 1978 Topps Hockey Card.  Maybe the sluttiest, most obscene five-hole ever photographed."
 I think you're right Ross. Oh so right.

Make sure you check back later, I've got another post in the works.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

G5H Poll of the Week

Every year my local ECHL team holds an NCAA hockey tournament. This was my first year going to all the games. You know what? NCAA goalies are just as yummy, if not more so, than professional goalies. The big question is, who wins the yummiest goalie of the College Classic award?

Let's introduce the contestants...

1. Mike Lee- St. Cloud State. A Phoenix Coyotes prospect.

2. Connor Knapp- Miami of Ohio. A Buffalo Sabres prospect.

3. Michael Garman- Cornell University.

 4. Martin Ouellette- University of Maine. A Columbus Blue Jackets prospect.

Chose your favorite? Go ahead and add a comment with your choice, you have till next Saturday to decide.

You have a week to decide people, so take your time