Normally, I wouldn't have any patience for a goalie in a Flyers themed lid.
Nor would I appreciate him and his four game win streak and ECHL goalie of the week honors Ccoming to my barn when my team's goalies deserve every single award the league offers. Even the awards for skaters.
Honestly, I wanted to hate Brian Stewart and his goofy goaltending style and his dumb mask.
And I did manage to... for one period. Then he came on over to my end of the rink and did this...
Let me just transcribe my thoughts as he did his warm-up:
- Oh, hey big boy. Gonna get out position a few more times and let my boys win? I hope so.
- Yup, you're gonna give up so many goals ya big goober.
- Ooooh, well hello. Look at you. Nice stretching.
- Oh my.
- Oh my.
- Holy shit you just did a split!YOU JUST DID A SPLIT!
- Oh! Oh!
- WHY IS THERE NO OXYGEN IN THIS ARENA?!
- *untillegible happy noise*
- MARRY ME.
Ahem. Anyway, Brian Stewart. Yes. He's been putting up nice numbers and earned goaltender of the week honors for his four game (now it's five games) win streak. He's a former NCAA goalie... you know what? You guys don't care about this. No normal human being's brain could work after that video. My brain still isn't working at full capacity after witnessing that live.
Let's just all agree that is an excellent warm-up and Brian Stewart is excellent and the only thing that could make it better is a a backbend. Ohhh, never mind. Scratch that, a backbend would have left me comatose for the rest of the game.
I'm not sure how I'm going to survive the next two nights of the series with him trying to impregnate the ice as I watch, but I'm going to tough it out for all of us and take one for the G5H team. Because that's just what I do.
I'll probably need to bring a tank of oxygen though....